A place to think

I plan to use this blog as a place to capture - or at least attempt to - the thoughts and feelings collecting in my mind since the death of our precious little Olivia in August of 2009 to Alagille Syndrome. Her story has been chronicled in detail on her blog. My posts here, while dealing with Olivia's death, just don't seem to belong on 'her blog,' a celebration of her life. I had been wanting to get back to writing for quite a while, I started numerous posts on Olivia's Blog but it never felt right.

I don't know what shape this blog will take in the long run, but I hope it can become a general conversation about grief and child loss with my fellow travelers on a road none of us chose willingly.

While floating through the ether earlier today I came across this post and this post from a couple grieving fathers. The haunting refrain of this love song made my heart ache once again....

"Chasing Cars" -- Snow Patrol

We'll do it all
Everything
On our own

We don't need
Anything
Or anyone

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

I don't quite know
How to say
How I feel

Those three words
Are said too much
They're not enough

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

Let's waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads

I need your grace
To remind me
To find my own

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see

I don't know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things will never change for us at all

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?